


The Clone Interview

by BloodyDevil



Series: The Interviews Universe [6]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Interviews AU, M/M, Oh, Other, Potential OOCness, Talk about sexual assault, i still don’t know how to tag, potenitally crack, the relationship happens at the end, unbeta’d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:27:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28448400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyDevil/pseuds/BloodyDevil
Summary: The Clones are finally interviewed! Although, that’s not the only thing that happens.
Relationships: (Minor) CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-wan Kenobi/ Quinlan Vos
Series: The Interviews Universe [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678621
Comments: 39
Kudos: 376





	The Clone Interview

**Author's Note:**

> I’m just happy this is done before the new year. 2020 sucked.
> 
> Also. I don’t know how drunk people act. I’m sorry.

“Are you sure?” It wasn’t a _bad_ proposition, but it was certainly odd. From Obi-wan’s understanding, most people don’t care about the Clones. So to ask to interview some of them was, interesting to say the least.

Obi-wan is grateful that he’s not the center of this at least. People have been trying to talk to him far too much. 

_”Yes. My boss has agreed and I think it’ll do good. However the Senate is not as agreeable, I was hoping you might be able to sway them.”_ Ryssa says.

Obi-wan strokes his beard, “I’m afraid I don’t have much sway in the Senate, but I’ll see what I can do. Were there any Troopers you wanted to talk to in particular?”

_”Whoevers around and willing. But ideally perhaps Commanders and Captains? But honestly whoever we can.”_

Obi-wan nods, “Very well. I’ll ask around.”

_”Thank you Master Kenobi,”_ With that, Ryssa ends the holocall. 

\---

A week later, Obi-wan calls Ryssa back, “I’ve gotten the Senate to agree to an interview, however, they have only given permission for five Clones to be interviewed. Only Commanding Officers. You have until the end of the week to film it and send it to the Senate for approval. All copies in your companies possession must be sent to the senate to prevent another leak.”

_”A_ week _?! That’s-”_ Ryssa ends her sentence with a groan, and then takes a deep breath. _”Thank you for getting them to agree. Do you know any Clone Officers on Coruscant I could interview?”_

“Well, Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard.” Obi-wan might have to gift him a couple more bottles of Alderaanian Tequila to get him to agree. “And we’re actually heading to Coruscant now. Myself and Anakin have been given leave for the next four days. We stopped off for fuel, but we’ll be there in a couple of hours. So, Cody and Rex will be available and on Coruscant, I could ask them if they’d be willing, if you want? Regrettably I don’t believe any other Clone Commanders will be on planet within the week.” He’s unsure how long Quinlan will be when meeting up with Aayla. Or if he’s gotten sucked into another mission.

_”Yeah, that’d be good. I’ll submit a request to the Coruscant Guard. And get my team ready, we’ll probably film tomorrow. I also have to find a location.”_ Ryssa makes a noise of annoyance, then sighs, _“Too much to do, too short of time. Safe travels Master Kenobi.”_ Obi-wan nods and Ryssa ends the call.

Obi-wan leaves his room and heads to the bridge to see how soon they can depart. On his way, Cody falls into step beside him, most likely coming back from a break.

“Commander, how would you feel about being interviewed?” Obi-wan asks as they walk.

“Sir?” Cody’s confusion leaked into the Force.

“The crew who interviewed myself, Bant and Quinlan wished to interview some clones. How would you feel being one of them?”

Cody didn’t respond for a minute, clearly thinking, “I would like to think on it more, sir.”

“Of course. It’ll be done soon, so I’m afraid you only have until tomorrow to decide.”

“More than enough time sir.” Cody states as they enter the bridge.

“Ah, Master Kenobi, Commander, we were just about to take the last hyperjump to Coruscant.” Admiral Kitos says.

“Good,” Obi-wan nods and keeps steady as the _Negotiator_ launches into Hyperspace. “When did Anakin leave?”

“Knight Skywalker left ten minutes before us. We picked up some 501st stragglers as we are heading to the same place.”

Obi-wan restrains a sigh, Anakin better have a good reason for leaving men behind. And that reason _cannot_ be ‘I wanted to get there faster’. Or Obi-wan is giving Anakin archive duty for three months, the War be damned.

“Who?” Admiral Kitos hands over a datapad with a list. Obi-wan scrolls through it for a while before his eyebrow develops a twitch.

“Sir?” Cody questions, sounding vaguely concerned.

“Anakin,” Obi-wan takes a deep breath, “not only left one hundred and thirty men. He left Captain Rex.” Anakin is getting archive duty for a _year_. Fuck this entire war. Obi-wan will make sure Anakin is temple bound. Obi-wan sighs, “I’m going to go find our esteemed Captain.” With that, Obi-wan leaves the bridge and heads to the area of the ship guests are to stay. That _should_ be where the 501st is.

And it is. Obi-wan enters the area to find over a hundred blue armoured clones milling about. A few notice him and go to stand but Obi-wan waves them down, quietly walking through the area to find Rex. It doesn’t take him long.

Rex is half dressed, cleaning his armour. He tenses when he notices Obi-wan, in the way Troopers do before they salute or come to attention, so Obi-wan quickly waves him down, giving him a disarming smile. Rex relaxes minutely, but does not return to cleaning his armour, giving Obi-wan his full attention.

“Captain, do you know why Anakin left you behind?” Might as well ask.

“Yes. But I’ve been told not to tell you.”

Obi-wan raises an eyebrow, “Ordered or asked?”

“It sounded more like a request than an order, sir.”

“Ah, will you tell me why Anakin left you behind?”

Rex seemed to consider this, ultimately it was his decision. Obi-wan wasn’t about to order him when he could just shake Anakin down in a couple hours.

“He wanted to make sure you were alright. Something about General Vos being untrustworthy?”

Obi-wan sighs. Anakin is on Archive duty until he’s _thirty_. “Thank you Captain. I am perfectly fine.”

“I figured. If I may, what’s wrong with General Vos?” 

“Nothing’s _wrong_ with him, Anakin just doesn’t like him. I’m sure there are multiple reasons, the only one I currently know of is, he doesn’t like how Quinlan acts with me. Flirting, mostly. And I only know of that, because Quinlan noticed Anakin’s irritation, and amped up his flirting. Which I called him out on.”

“Sir, I’m reasonably sure General Skywalker doesn’t care about you in that way.” Obi-wan definitely agreed with Rex on that.

“He doesn’t, to my knowledge. But, how would you feel if someone started flirting with Ahsoka? Or how do you feel when boys flirt with her?” Well, attempt to, if what Obi-wan’s heard is correct.

“I would very much like to knock their teeth out.”

Obi-wan smiles, “But you don’t care for Ahsoka in that way.”

“No.”

“It’s the same with Anakin. It’s a familial protection. The difference, is I’m an adult and Quinlan is a friend. Meaning Anakin is assigned Archive duty until he’s bald.” And yes, Obi-wan will enforce that. Although ‘bald’ will be a vague umbrella. So long as Anakin doesn’t have hair.

Which, due to the war, will amount to either Anakin taking a (much needed) break for _years_ , or Anakin will have to shave his head.

“Sir?” Rex asks, moderately confused.

“Don’t worry, Anakin would rather shave his head than stay idle in the Archive for long. It might be a serious consideration though.” Rex chuckles, it was no secret Anakin loved his hair.

Well, ‘loved’ might be too strong of word. But he cares very deeply about his hair, and threatening to shave it off in his sleep was something Ahsoka had done a couple time as a tease. Anakin had been very panicked at that threat and grabbed his hair, eyeing Ahsoka suspiciously until she relented she wouldn’t do it. 

Obi-wan had asked Anakin about that later because as Jedi they shouldn’t be so vain. Anakin’s reasoning? When he was a kid his mother shaved his head and he looked like an egg. And Anakin did _not_ want to look like an egg again.

Obi-wan managed not to laugh around Anakin. It was very serious to him, but the image of a young Anakin with a shaved head looking like an egg was a very amusing picture.

Obi-wan cleared his throat, “Ah, there is something else,” he had told Ryssa he’d ask, “the choice is yours, but the crew who interviewed myself, Master Vos and Master Eerin wanted to do an interview with the clones. The senate restricted it to CO Clones, so I was wondering if you’d be willing?”

“To, be interviewed?” Rex asks, seemingly confused.

“Yes. Due to the time frame, you’ll have to make your decision by tomorrow, but the decision is yours.”

Rex nods, “Uh, I’ll think about it and get back to you, General.”

Obi-wan smiles, “Thank you.” With that, Obi-wan leaves the area.

\---

A few hours later, Obi-wan finds himself back in Fox’s office, another bottle of Alderaanian Tequila in his hands.

He hears Fox come in, and feels the confusion coming off the Commander, but lets him speak first.

“Why are you in my office?” Fox asks as he heads to his desk.

“I was wondering if it was possible to bribe you.”

Fox immediately became suspicious, “For what.” Obi-wan turns to face Fox.

“A Ryssa Eldin would’ve sent in a request to interview you. I was wondering if a bottle of Alderaanian Tequila would be enough to get you to accept.” Obi-wan sets the bottle on Fox’s desk, he’d be leaving it regardless. He wasn’t too fond of Alderaanian Tequila.

“Are you aware of the ‘required questions’ she sent along with that request?”

She had required questions? “No. I was unaware she had them.” Fox taps away at a data pad and hands it over to Obi-wan. 

There were only two questions and both stared at Obi-wan glaringly.

**Have you ever been Sexually Assaulted?**

**Has any Trooper under you been sexually assaulted?**

Obi-wan set the pad down and calmly stood up, he felt anything but calm. “Excuse me. Keep the Tequila.” Obi-wan immediately leaves the Guard’s base and heads to the Coruscant Barracks. He comms Cody and tells him to bring Rex, and then heads to his rooms where they’d meet up. He immediately calls Ryssa. “You failed to inform me of the ‘required questions’.” Obi-wan’s voice was sharp, but he couldn’t give enough of a shit to dull it.

Ryssa looked upset at least, _”I didn’t_ know _until I sent that request. My boss took it and added them and told me I_ had _to ask them. I was planning on just telling the troops day of to say no regardless of the true answer. That’s not something they should be forced to share.”_

Obi-wan relaxes slightly, “I’ll pass that along. You should’ve told me when you found out.”

Ryssa nods, _”Yes. I’m sorry.”_

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to. If they agree to the interview, you can apologize to the troops there.” Ryssa nods and Obi-wan hangs up. A minute later Cody and Rex show up.

“Did General Skywalker shave his head?” Rex asks immediately.

“I have yet to inform him of his fate as an Archivist. So, no. This is about the interview.”

“You said we had until tomorrow-”

“You do. This might change your answer. Ryssa has been given two mandated questions by her boss. ‘Have you ever been sexually assaulted?’ and ‘Do you know if any of the troopers under your command have been sexually assaulted?’” Obi-wan was paraphrasing but the gist was the same, “I spoke to Ryssa, and she claims that if you agree, she will advise you to say ‘no’ to those questions regardless of their real answer because that is not something that you should be forced to talk about. However, I felt it prudent to warn you.”

Rex was stock still, but Cody nodded, “Thank you sir. We’ll take that into consideration.” With that, Cody dragged Rex out of the room.

\----

“Am I allowed to drink?” As he was asking, Fox was opening one of the bottles of Alderaanian Tequila he had brought with him. He, along with Rex and Cody had agreed to be interviewed. On the condition General Kenobi was present. Officially for moral support. Unofficially, Cody had asked him to come to make sure they wouldn’t get pressured into answering anything and their non-existent rights were respected. 

“Uh, I suppose?” Ryssa says after a pause, clearly unsure of if she should allow this. She looks to Kenobi for support, and to tell her what to do.

“You are being recorded. And given the last interview, there is a risk that what you say will be all over the holoweb,” Kenobi warns,” So long as you are okay with that, drink as you like.”

Fox shrugs, he doesn’t really have any fucks left to give. “Cool.” With that, Fox takes a drink straight from the bottle. And then passes it to Cody, who also takes a drink.

“You two are despicable.” Rex states.

“Fine. No top shelf Tequila for you.” Cody passes the bottle back to Fox.

The three troopers were in their armor as that’s how they were comfortable, but per Ryssa’s request, their helmets were off. The compromise for that was that the interview was being filmed in the Jedi temple once more, in a more fortified and protected room. That room being a meditation room, so the three troopers were on the round cushion chairs Jedi use for meditation.

They were incredibly comfortable and Fox was debating stealing one for his office. 

“The only people who drink Tequila straight are people without any brain cells.” Fox’s response to Rex was to flip him off while taking a long drink from the bottle.

“Uh, so are you three ready to start the interview?” Ryssa asks, the crew had finished setting up, so they were waiting on the Troopers.

Fox gave a thumbs up, Cody and Rex chorused a “Yes”. 

“Great.” Ryssa sits down on her own circle chair, “Could you introduce yourselves?”

“I’m Captain Rex of the 501st Legion.”

“Marshal Commander Cody of the-” Cody stops and shrugs, “I’m General Kenobi’s Commander. I’m in charge of everything he is, including him.”

“Hey!” Kenobi calls, but doesn’t protest further. From what Fox has seen, Cody’s not exactly _wrong_.

“Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard.”

“Thank you,” Ryssa smiles, and then swallows, “Now, to get the question I’m required to ask out of the way, have you or any trooper under your command been sexually assaulted?”

It was expected they would all answer ‘No’. That is what they were told to do. Brush it under the rug and ignore it.

Fox doesn’t let that happen, speaking first with a snort and, “No legion in this army hasn’t had at least _one_ case of sexual assault.”

“Fox.” Cody hisses, but Fox is unrepentant.

Fox shrugs, “My men don’t care. And it’s not like shits going to happen either way. We say ‘no’, people think troopers aren’t reporting it and it happens more. We say ‘yes’, people know troopers are reporting it, and it’ll happen more. Because there’s jack shit to be done. I could tell you the Chancellor of the fucking Republic has assaulted some of my men, and no one would care. Because no one cares.” Fox takes another swig of the Tequila he was pissed and feeling helpless. The shit Senators get away with pisses him off and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Especially not when it’s done to _clones_. Flesh droids with less rights than _actual_ droids.

The group remains silent for a couple of beats before Rex speaks, “The Jedi care.”

“The Jedi can’t protect everyone. They shouldn’t be expected to.” Like all the Clones, Fox had heard a lot about the Jedi growing up. Not dealing with the Jedi most of the time, he has a much harsher view on their abilities than his brothers.

“Foxy, you don’t deal with Jedi much,” Cody puts a hand on Fox’s shoulder, “Tell them that all you want, but to them, our lives are in their hands and anything that happens to us is their responsibility. It’s how you end up with a quarter of our natborn crew in the brig for sexual assault.” Which sounded like something General Kenobi would do. It’s not the dramatics of going on the intercom and threatening to cut off any natborns hands, like General Skywalker. And it’s not the severity of beating the snot out of the natborn on the command deck and making it clear to every natborn that if they assaulted a trooper their fate would be the same, like General Vos.

“I had to do _something_ ,” Kenobi grumbles.

Fox sighs, and shrugs Cody’s hand off, “That’s not what I meant. The Jedi can’t even protect their own from the Senate, they can’t protect us. The Senate’ll kill us all the moment the wars over because they don’t want to deal with us.” Fox was still pissed at that. He protects the Chancellor every fucking day, and the demagolka passes _that_ bill? Somedays, Fox _really_ wants to let a sniper at him. It’d be so easy.

Cody swipes Fox’s Tequila, clearly as upset at the current topic as Fox, “Ask something else. Something not depressing as shit.” Cody orders before taking a drink.

“Of course. I’m sorry for asking that. Uh, Commander Fox, I hear the Coruscant Guard’s base has been turned into a daycare, how’s that going?” Ryssa asks. 

Of course. Of _fucking_ course. _That’s_ what she’d ask. That’s the hot topic.

Fox’s immediate response, is a lot of cursing. A _lot_ of cursing. Then a sigh, and “It’s fine. The children are happy, safe and well cared for. The Chancellor keeps trying to shut us down for some reason, but is failing because I’m damn good and there is nothing wrong with my daycare legally.” 

Everyone in the room was shocked, but for different reasons. Cody was the first to break the silence, “You know, for someone who _hates_ kids, you are _very_ defensive.”

“Of course I’m defensive! It’s _my_ daycare. I don’t give a fuck that I don’t like kids, they’re now my responsibility as is the daycare, and _no one_ hurts my shit. No one.” Fox sounded vaguely threatening, which wasn’t really surprising. The Chancellor was trying to hurt his shit. 

“I’m sorry,” Ryssa cuts in, “You don’t like kids?”

“Neither does Cody. Or Rex!”

“Hey! I,” Cody wavers for a moment before shrugging, “If I don’t have to be responsible for them, I’m fine with them.”

“The only kid I like is Commander Tano.”

“Who is four years older than you.”

Fox shrugs, and addresses Ryssa, ignoring his brothers, “Not all clones like kids. Not that people _thought_ of that before dumping their spawn on my Guard. Noooo.” Fox’s tone turns mocking, “We saw a couple clones gushing about kids so clearly they _all_ like children.”

“But you started a daycare?” Ryssa was clearly confused. 

“People kept dumping their spawn on us. I may not like kids but I’m not a monster. And I didn’t want to get into any trouble so I made the Guard clean up the Base, filled out the paperwork, and my base of operations is now a daycare. Because the Senate sucks so bad that there aren’t any other options for these parents.” Which apparently Senator Amidala is trying to correct. Fox doesn’t hold that much hope. “A couple dozen of my Guard is now staying with the Judiciary because they _really_ don’t like children, but, eh.” Fox shrugs, “They’ll live.” Apparently the Judiciary space was nicer than Base, so the squads over there don’t complain _that_ much. And what they do complain about can be summed up in one word. Natborns. 

“I had to stop some of my men from requesting transfers to the Guard.” Cody comments, which, Fox can see. The 212th does have quite a few troopers who love kids.

“Same. I’m not sure Echo actually _wanted_ to take care of kids.”

“He probably just wanted to take care of a kid that wasn’t Skywalker.” Cody remarks. Rex snorts and shrugs.

\---Over at the Rotunda----

“Ah, Anakin my boy, I’m so glad you could take the time to come see me.” Palpatine got up from his desk, moving to shake Anakin’s hand.

Anakin gripped Palpatine’s hand with a smile. “Of course. I enjoy our talks.” 

“Yes, well, with the rumours going around,” Palpatine’s brow furrows in concern, “I must say, I was worried you might start thinking bad of me.” Palpatine leads Anakin further into his office, to the couches to sit.

Anakin shakes his head, “Of course not. I knew what they were saying was false. I was really angry at Obi-wan though. I couldn’t believe he said that.” Anakin sits down on one of the couches, Palpatine taking the seat next to him.

“Yes. One of my aids showed me a video of you two talking about it. I must say, I am grateful that Master Kenobi doesn’t think _that_ poorly of me.” Anakin nods, looking quite deep in thought. 

He speaks up when Palpatine opens his mouth, “Why did you pass Act 4766? I talked with Padme and she said Naboo was more than happy to take the clones.”

Palpatine smiles, “My boy, it’s not that simple. Padme is no longer queen, and if we send the clones to Naboo, then Naboo now has an army. What if they wish to attack the rest of the Galaxy? Or they want to change the Senate? No one could say no to them, they have our army.” Palpatine sighs, “To keep the peace, the clones must be decommissioned. I am truly sorry my boy. I had no other choice.” Anakin nods, but he doesn’t seem entirely convinced, clearly still thinking. Before Anakin could get his thoughts in order, Palpatine looks down at Anakin’s chestplate and comments, “You still have the gold stars.”

Anakin, now distracted, looked down at his chest, touching the stars gently, he seemed fond of them. “Yeah. Well, they’ll fall off eventually. With front line fighting and all.”

Palpatine nods, “I suppose. I’m surprised is all. I would’ve gotten rid of them rather quickly, myself. The condescension of it all.”

“Condescension?” Anakin repeats, confused.

“Well, gold stars? It’s used on school children when they’re behaving. It just reads as condescension to me, is all. Like they’re treating you as a youngling, rather than the Knight you are.” Palpatine’s comment was innocent enough, but Anakin’s brows furrow deep in thought, and then anger.

If Palpatine felt a little glee at the response, well, that was no ones business but his own.

\---Back at the Temple---

“Is General Skywalker that bad?” Fox didn’t really interact with Skywalker that much, thankfully, so he hadn’t really generated an opinion on him yet.

Rex shrugs, “He’s not-” He stops, clearly thinking before he continues, “He’s a good General, he’s just, short sighted sometimes. He doesn’t think things through all the time, or even most of the time. But, he’s a good General. And not that childish.”

“Skywalker is a lot like General Kenobi. Kenobi just hides his crazy shit better.” Cody sums up.

“That too.”

“Should I be offended at that?” Kenobi asks one of the Interview crew, Kalla if Fox remembers correctly. The Twi’lek shrugs in response, clearly as unsure as Kenobi on if that was an insult.

“Uh, going back, do you know why the Chancellor is trying to shut down your daycare?” Ryssa asks.

“Nope,” Fox swipes his Tequila back from Cody, taking a drink before continuing, “I’m guessing he doesn’t like kids. But he’s starting to go a bit too far and being a serious Demagolka.”

“I’ve heard that word before from other Clones, what does ‘Demagolka’ mean?”

And Fox, can’t really say. It’s not like Jango actually _taught_ them these words. They really just got them from when he was cursing and figured the meaning out on their own. To them, Demagolka means someone truly despicable without a care for life other than their own.

“General?” Cody calls.

“...Do you-” Kenobi cuts himself off and shakes his head, “In the Mandalorian _I_ learned, Demagolka refers to a Mandalorian from the old Republic, Demagol, who would experiment on children. It’s a synonym for monster, essentially. For not knowing what that word meant you have all been using it quite correctly.”

Fox shrugs, “Eh, we figured from context from Fett’s cursing.”

“You think the Chancellor is a _monster_?” Ryssa asks, clearly shocked.

“He tried to bomb my daycare!”

“He did _what_?” Cody and Rex demand. Both pissed and outraged.

“Okay, he didn’t get that far. Boba told one of my patrols that the Chancellor had put up a job for bombing my daycare on one of the dark bounty sites, or whatever they’re called, he even showed them the job and everything. And the Chancellor wasn’t that smart since it was easily traced back to his own comm.” Okay, it took them a day and a half and some very illegal slicing, but they found out.

“Boba _Fett_? The kid wanted for escaping prison and killing a _lot_ of people?”

Yeah, Boba is... He’s special. Fox shrugs, “Arresting the kid is out of our paygrade.”

“We don’t _have_ a paygrade.” Rex reminds.

“Exactly.”

“What do you mean you don’t have a paygrade?” Ryssa asks.

“We don’t have a paygrade?” Fox repeats, he doesn’t see how that’s hard to understand. Didn’t the Jedi explain this is the other interview?

Cody sighs, “We aren’t paid. At _all_. So, no paygrade.”

“That’s…” Ryssa didn’t seem to know how to finish that.

“Like General Kenobi said, we’re essentially slaves. No rights and unpaid.” Fox shrugs before taking another swig of Tequila.

“We’re not even citizens of the Republic.” Rex adds, Fox offers the bottle to the blonde clone but is denied. Cody takes it instead.

“Does that mean we can’t commit Treason?” Fox asks.

“What?” Ryssa asks, clearly shocked.

“The definition of Treason by Republic law is ‘A citizen of the Republic violently betraying the Galactic Republic.’ The subsections go into more detail on what counts as betraying the Republic but that’s the legal definition.” Fox explains, “We’re not citizens of the Republic, ergo we can’t commit Treason against the Republic.”

“He has a point,” Kenobi cuts in. “If one of you were to commit treason against the Republic, well, honestly you’d probably be decommissioned for being faulty or whatever reasoning the Chancellor will have, _but_ if it were incredibly public, they’d be forced to put you on trial. Mostly because there will be riots in the streets if they didn’t. The Senate would be forced to face the fact that they can’t charge you with Treason if you’re not citizens of the Republic, and if you’re citizens of the Republic, then you are due pay for risking your lives protecting it. The back pay for just the infantry soldiers is well into the millions and the backpay for all the officers makes the back pay in total far more than the Republic would be able to afford. So they’d be force to either admit you’re all slaves, or you get away with Treason.”

Fox was surprised. Evidently Kenobi thought about this a _lot_. “So if I killed the Chancellor of the Republic while out and about, I’d be put on trial and either my brothers get paid or I get away with killing that Sithshit demagolka?”

“Well, that’s how it _should_ go. Likely, you’d be assassinated. Or ‘commit suicide’ while awaiting trial. Most likely killed by some judicial officer wanting an extra payday. Or they’d make some argument how you don’t deserve a trial, as you are not a citizen of the Republic. But even _that_ would bring up the issue of ‘Why are non-citizens fighting for the Republic?’ If you’re going to die for a government, shouldn’t you at least be acknowledged by said government? Of course, this is all hypothetical.” Kenobi shrugs. “My apologies for interrupting your interview.”

“Anymore questions?” Fox asks, stealing his Tequila back from Cody. Both of them were getting pretty tipsy, Rex seemed annoyed. And _very_ sober. 

Ryssa seemed caught off guard but looks at her pad before asking, “We’ve noticed Clone Troopers have much variety in their hairstyles, is there any meaning behind that?”

“Individuality mostly. We all have the same face so hairstyles and tattoos give us just a little individuality.” Rex explains.

“And hair dye?” Ryssa’s question causes Cody to start laughing, but badly because he was trying (and failing horribly) to hide it.

“Some clones use hair dye, yes. Personally, I don’t.” Rex was clearly annoyed at Cody laughing. Fox presumes there’s a story there, but he also doesn’t care enough to ask. “I have a gene mutation which gave me blonde hair. Some other clones do too. Some mutations have brown hair, or blue eyes. Aesthetic mutations without any negative health consequences. And will you _stop laughing_!” Rex glared at Cody who had taken to giggling.

“Kenobi I think your commander is a lightweight.” Fox calls, the Jedi shrugs in response.

“Eh! _Marshal_ Commander. And yeah, by your definition.” Cody giggles again before calming himself.

“Could’ve told me before I gave you Tequila.” Fox mutters. He was buzzed. Cody had reached stupid drunk, at least Fox thinks so.

“What was so funny?” Ryssa asks, which just makes Cody start giggling again.

The only thing the Marshal Commander gets out is, “Carpets.” and “Drapes.” Both of those words seem to make Rex moderately closer to tackling Cody out of the chair.

Fox, somehow being the mature one, brings the conversation back to hair, “There are also styles that mean something. The Double Stripe, for one. It’s shaving one’s head and leaving only two thick parallel stripes of hair on the top of your head. It’s actually more a ‘U’ shape than two individual stripes since they meet at the base of your skull. It honors the loss of a comrade. Mostly the more serious troopers will do it. The stripes are also typically dyed red.” Fox pauses, thinking on if there was any more information on the Double Stripe he forgot to mention.He couldn’t think of any so he shrugs and takes a drink.

“Uh, Captain Rex, you mentioned tattoos?”

“Yeah, some troopers get tattoos to distinguish themselves more. I don’t think any of us-” Rex was cut off by Cody laughing, and Fox realized something absolutely horrible. 

Cody _knew_.

“ _Now_ what are you laughing at?” Rex asks, sounding annoyed. 

Fox slapped a hand over Cody’s mouth before he could say anything, and answered for him, “Nothing in particular. He’s a laughy drunk. Next question?” Fox was talking too fast. He knew that. But he was _stressed_. Rex eyed him suspiciously, but Ryssa went to her pad so Fox relaxed a bit.

That was a mistake.

Because Cody threw off his hand and yelled, “Fox has a Fox tattoo on his ass!” Fox, in turn, does the most rational thing he can think of.

He tackles Cody to the ground. And the two start brawling. Rex tries to get involved to split them up, but that just ends with Fox holding him in a choke hold with his arms while he holds Cody in a choke hold with his legs. Rex puffs up his cheek like a blowfish, while Cody is just laughing.

Fox doesn’t hear anyone come in, but he does hear, “I see the interview is going well.” It was clearly from a Clone, but Fox can’t see who due to the three of them mostly being behind the chairs.

“Do you two want to join?” Kenobi asks.

“Yes.” Fox sighs and releases his brothers and stands up to see who it is, mildly surprised when he recognizes the Commanders. CC-5052 and CC-6665. Commanders Bly and Beast. Bly seemed a bit more anxious than a trooper should, Beast just seemed tired.

“Kalla will mic you and we can get you more chairs.” Ryssa says, gesturing for one of the boys to get chairs.

Cody stops them, “Me and Rex can share.” And pulls Rex to sit on his chair with him. Fox takes his seat while Beast and Bly get micced and then sit on Rex’s old chair. They were pretty big so it wasn’t _that_ squished. But it was still squished and Fox wasn’t sharing his chair.

Ryssa clears her throat and starts, “Could you two introduce yourselves?”

“Commander Bly of the 327th Star Corp.”

“Commander Beast of the 451st Attack Battalion.”

“Thank you.” Ryssa smiles,” We were talking about hairstyles and tattoos. Commander Fox explained what a double stripe hairstyle meant, if it’s not too personal, if it is don’t answer, may I ask who you’re honouring Commander Beast?”

“My General’s sanity.” Beast deadpans.

“May it rest in the Force.” Bly adds, causing Kenobi to snort, and very clearly try to hide his amusement.

“Why did you two come in here anyways? I’d of thought you’d be spending time with your sweetheart, Bly.” Cody comments.

“Oh I’d love to. But General Vos is here.” Beast snickers at Bly.

“You’re such a wuss.”

“It’s General _Vos_.” Bly protests and Beast rolls his eyes.

“I _know_. The man makes me jump through trees. He’s going to be in a bigger upset over you _avoiding_ him than if you went and talked to him.” Beast states.

Ryssa cuts in, “May I ask what this is about?”

“I’m in a relationship with my Jedi General. Aayla Secura. General Vos is her former Master. He wants to talk to me.” Bly was clearly stressed, but Kenobi seemed to be holding back a laugh, so Fox assumes it’s not that serious. Bly might just be overreacting.

Beast was chuckling, “He’s not going to hurt you.”

“I know _that_.” Bly flounders a bit, “I just, don’t want to talk about this. What other topics can we talk about?”

“Smooth.” Rex comments.

“What do you do in your down time?”

“Take care of children.” Fox states, because dealing with the daycare _was_ his downtime.

“Get my General drunk and film him stripping.” Cody admits with way too much glee. Kenobi groans but doesn’t say anything, Beast laughs. And Cody lights up like a lightbulb. “You were in the infirmary.”

Beast stops laughing and gives Cody a ‘Are you shitting me?’ look. “When?” But Cody wasn’t paying attention to Beast, instead going through his wristcomm-corder. Cody leans around Rex and taps a button. A hologram of General Kenobi and General Vos appear along with [music](https://youtu.be/e0V1cc_HGIQ?t=51). It only shows the two dancing and _stripping_ for about five seconds before it disappears. Cody whines, “General.”

Upon facing Kenobi, Fox could only compare his face to a tomato. “Cody, you are being _filmed_.”

Cody grumbles but turns off his wristcomm-corder and resumes his position, no longer leaning over Rex. 

“Does General Kenobi strip often?” Ryssa asks, much to Obi-wan’s clear embarrassment.

Cody nods, “Get him drunk, you get a fifty-fifty shot of him either stripping or talking about his emotions. Either way I record it.”

“Yes Cody is responsible for that video of me drunk crying.” Obi-wan adds.

“The one about people _whipping_ you?” Kalla asks. Obi-wan nods.

“Wait,” Rex cuts in, “that was filmed recently? Like, before we met up?” Cody nods and Rex sighs, “General Skywalker is _not_ going to be happy.” Rex mutters.

“Why would General Skywalker be upset? Both General Kenobi and General Vos are adults.” Ryssa states.

“Why would General Vos be upset Bly is dating Aayla? She’s an adult.” Rex states, directing attention to Bly.

“He’s not upset.” Beast interjects.

“He wants to _talk_.” Bly reminds.

Beast snorts, “Yeah, who knows why he’d want to talk to a ball of anxiety like you.”

“I’m not a ball of anxiety.”

“What would you describe yourself as now?”

“A considerably cautious commander.”

“So, Bly is here hiding from Vos,” Fox cuts in, “Why are you here?” Fox asks Beast.

“I cannot be held accountable for anything General Vos gets up to if I have a valid engagement going on.” Beast answers without hesitation.

“So you’re _both_ hiding from Vos.” Cody clarifies.

“Yup. Anymore questions Interview lady?”

“Uh, it’s Ryssa. And, um, speaking of the Jedi, what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen one of them do?”

“Go out into a battlefield with no fucking armor.” Cody answers immediately, looking directly at Kenobi.

“Really? _That’s_ the dumbest thing you think Kenobi’s done?” Fox asks. “Didn’t he jump out a window of Senator Amidala’s apartment?”

“That was before the war.” Kenobi defends.

“You hid in the vents of the Rotunda for three hours to avoid meeting with the Chancellor.” Fox points out.

“That’s a normal Jedi thing.”

“Yeah, reminding Commander Tano to use the halls and _not_ the vents is annoying and constant.” Rex adds, clearly irritated.

“It’s still ridiculous.” Fox refutes.

“Jedi are always ridiculous. It’s in their nature.” Beast shrugs. “Vos once tried to swing on a vine. But it was a snake, not a vine. And it bit him on the ass. He still got to where he intended to go, but Breaker had him pull his pants down fifty feet off the ground in a giant tree.”

“Nothing General Secura does is dumb.” Bly states.

Beast looks at him like he was an idiot, “She jumped off of a 100 foot cliff.”

“I caught her.”

“That- That doesn’t make it less stupid.You two also forgot how light and shadows work-” Bly covers Beast’s mouth, cutting him off.

“What about you Captain Rex? Dumb things General Skywalker and Commander Tano do?” Bly asks.

“...It’d be easier to name the non-dumb things they do.”

“They can’t be that bad.” Fox tries, he really doesn’t know the pair all that well. Aside from Skywalker being the Chancellor’s favourite.

“They threw me off a cliff!”

“All Jedi do that.” The others make noises of agreement to Cody’s statement.

Bly shrugs, “They catch you.”

“I’d say the wardrobe is the dumbest.”

“What’s wrong with Anakin’s wardrobe?” Obi-wan asks, which considering Skywalker wears typical Jedi robes but dark, is a fair question.

“Nothing with Skywalker. Tano was running around in a tube top and a skirt over leggings for a good while.”

“What's wrong with that? Aayla wears a crop top.” Bly asks, confused.

“She should be wearing some fucking protective cover! Being a Jedi doesn’t protect them from shrapnel or blaster bolts for fucks sake. I don’t care about her fashion, we’re in a fucking war for fucks sake, she should at least wear armour.”

“Half the Jedi don’t wear armour.”

“I had to blackmail Kenobi into wearing his armour.”

“That does not make me stress less about a teenager running around in a tube top in a warzone!” Rex was very very stressed. 

“Skywalker also left you at our last stopover getting here so you could keep an eye on Kenobi.” Cody states, which, was news to Fox. What the fuck?

“Why?” Fox asks.

Rex shrugs, “Skywalker doesn’t like Vos much.”

“Probably because Skywalker is a little baby who can’t handle his former Master having a sex life.” Beast remarks.

“ _Ex_ cuse me?” 

“What? It’s not a secret.” Given the way Kenobi was cradling his face in his hands, it might have been.

“Well, it’s not now. Did you seriously fuck Vos?” Fox asks Kenobi.

“It’s none of your business.” Kenobi states before sighing, “But, yes. Among other things. _Anakin_ was blissfully unaware of that.”

“Why does General Skywalker care who you have sex with? Aayla doesn’t care who Vos has sex with.”

“Oh sixteen year old Aayla _very much_ cared who Quinlan slept with. She kept locking us in closets for a whole year. She still cares now. It’s just taken a backburner due to the war.”

“Has she locked you and Vos in a closet recently?” Because Fox would like a holo of _that_.

“No, she thankfully grew out of that. But she does still talk to me about Quin. But Anakin cares in a different way. He’s more... protective, than trying to get me to hook up with people. Hence, him leaving Rex behind to make sure Quin didn’t do anything, _untowards_ to me.” Kenobi rolls his eyes, and then straightens. “And you’re supposed to be doing an interview, not involving me.”

“Why are you here?” Beast asks.

“Moral Support.” Rex answers

“And to make sure our non-existent rights aren’t violated.” Cody adds, drunk and honest.

“What?” Ryssa was surprised and probably offended. She turns from the Clones to Kenobi, “Master Kenobi?”

Kenobi shrugs, “Cody asked me here.”

“We would never-”

“Not intentionally. You’re good people, but, again, due to the Clones position as Chattel or product within the Republic, talking back to Natborns doesn’t always go well. They can be ignored or punished. A lot of clones learn to just shut up and do whatever Natborns say even if it makes them uncomfortable. I’m here so if you make them uncomfortable, I can stop it if they don’t.” Kenobi explains. Which Fox gets. He knows a lot of his men just shut up and take whatever Natborns throw at them. It’s easier than arguing. Especially if those natborns are Senators. Fox has gotten into that habit too. Not speaking up when he’s emotionally hurt, only in regards to rules and regulations. Because 9 times out of 10, _that’s_ what the Natborn cares about. Not hurting a clone, but breaking the law.

“Ohhh. Valid.” Beast remarks.

“Also, I am hiding from my friends currently in the temple. They want to talk about _feelings_.” Kenobi shudders at the last word, as if talking about feelings was truly terrible. Well, Fox wasn’t about to so...

“Uh huh. Ryssa do you have more questions?”

“Yes, uh, what’s your favourite alcohol?” Ryssa made a face like she regretted asking that, or it wasn’t what she meant to ask, but didn’t say anything else, so, they still answered it.

“Alderaanian Tequila.” Fox holds up the bottle he was still drinking. 

“Nabooian Vodka.” Beast answers.

Rex goes next, “Drosha Gin.”

“I prefer Koreshan Whiskey.” Bly adds.

Cody looks to Kenobi, “General?”

“You tend to steal my Stewjoni Scotch Whiskey.” Obi-wan answers.

“Stewjoni Scotch Whiskey apparently.” Cody shrugs.

“Okay, uh, Commander Bly mentioned he was in a relationship with his Jedi General, would any of you consider that? With any Jedi in particular?”

“I don’t have a Jedi General, and every Jedi I’ve met is a disaster.” Fox states bluntly.

“Strong agree. Vos is a complete disaster.” Beast states.

“Skywalker too.”

“I’ve never really thought about it.” Cody shrugs.

“Wait, if you _had_ to pick a Jedi to date, who would it be?” Beast asks,a glint in his eye that makes _Fox_ uncomfortable.

“You hate dating stuff.” Bly comments, clearly suspicious.

“Hush.” Beast covers Bly’s mouth with his hand, “Cody, go.”

“Kenobi? I guess? Skywalkers off the table and I don’t really know any other Jedi.”

“You know Mace, Luminara, Quinlan, Yoda,” Kenobi starts listing, apparently ignoring that Cody said he’d date him by default.

“No.” Cody cuts in.

“To who?”

“Everyone!”

“You don’t like my General?” Beast asks.

“Vos is fine.”

“But you wouldn’t date him?” Bly is getting a confused and mildly disturbed look on his face as Beast talks.

Cody seemed mildly taken aback by the question, hesitating nearly imperceptibly before answering, “I don’t think Vos is interested in Clones.”

“Does that mean you think Kenobi is?” Rex buts in, “Hey, General Kenobi-”

“I’m not here, I’m not participating in this conversation.” Kenobi cuts in, pulling the robe of his Jedi robe up over his head and face.

“You were ten seconds ago!” Kenobi doesn’t respond to Cody’s outburst.

“You didn’t answer my question. And why wouldn’t Vos be interested in Clones?” Beast asks, bringing the conversation back to his topic of choice. 

“I don’t- some Natborns don’t like Clones.”

“Fox can I have some Tequila?” Fox hands his bottle over to Beast who takes a long drink from it before handing it back. “Thank you,” Beast says, “Cody you’re an idiot.”

“Thanks. Can I have more Tequila?”

“Don’t get giggly drunk again.” Fox orders, handing the bottle over to Cody who immediately takes a swig.

“Why am I an idiot?”

“To be fair, Vos is also an idiot.” Beast’s answer answers nothing.

Bly pulls Beast’s hand off his mouth, “Is this about that thing you were complaining about?”

“Yes.”

“What thing?” Fox asks, wanting to get to the bottom of this so they could _move one_. 

Beast seemed unsure on if he wanted to even continue this conversation, probably regretting even starting this line of questioning. Bly didn’t really care and answered, “General Vos has been flirting with Cody.”

Cody’s face scrunches up, “No he hasn’t.”

Rex starts giggling as both Bly and Beast nod. “He has.”

“He talks to you the same way he talks to me.” Cody points out.

“Yeah, that’s a personal problem for him.” Beast shrugs, “But he’s definitely interested in you and Kenobi, romantically speaking, not just, sexually speaking. Can I have more Tequila?” Beast grabs for the bottle, which Cody hands over, clearly thinking.

“Sir?” Cody calls.

“I don’t know.” Kenobi admits without coming out from his Jedi Robe Cocoon.

“Change the subject, this is more Lovelife bullshit than I want to deal with in a year.” Beast demands, drinking more Tequila than he should.

“Uh, sure,” Ryssa scrolls through her pad for a moment before asking, “What’s the most common reason Jedi give for not wearing armour?”

The four clones who actually deal with Jedi regularly chorus, “The Force will protect me.”

“It does,” Kenobi whines from his cocoon, nearly inaudible. 

Ryssa chuckles, “Interesting. How do you feel about the public's growing interest in Clone Troopers?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like as babysitters?” Fox asks, because he hasn’t heard of any other interest. 

“No. The public has been growing more curious about Troopers and,” Ryssa pauses, probably getting her thoughts in order, “they seem to be sensationalizing Troopers. Also,” Ryssa reaches into her bag and pulls out three mini troopers, “there have been toys.” Ryssa hands the Mini Troopers over to the Clones. Fox takes one and realizes it _soft_ and _squishy_. Like one of the kids ‘Stuffies’ that they carry around. “There are also action figures, toy armour sets, people have been really getting into them. But, I take it none of you have heard about this?”

All the Troopers shake their heads. Obi-wan finally emerges from his cocoon to explain, “The Troopers are given limited access to the holoweb, they can only see what the Senate approves them to see. This interest probably wasn’t approved.”

“That’s-” Ryssa is interrupted by a Trooper barging in. He was fully armoured up, a pentagram on his forehead marking him one of the 451st.

“Commander, General Vos just kidnapped General Skywalker.” 

“Why?” Beast asks, the Trooper shakes his head.

“I don’t know sir, but Skywalker was _angry_.”

_-With Quinlan and Anakin-_

“What the kriff Vos!” Skywalker yells when Quinlan finally drops his ass. Quinlan locks the door to his rooms, preventing him from leaving.

“The fuck is wrong with you Skywalker?” Skywalker quickly gets to his feet.

“Wrong with me?!” Skywalker parrots, outraged, “You just _kidnapped_ me!”

“Because there is something _seriously_ wrong with you!” Skywalker scoffs, but Quinlan keeps talking, “You came back radiating anger, Skywalker. The amount of anger you were _projecting_ could’ve sent a youngling into a _coma_.” Quinlan _might_ be exaggerating, but only slightly. If Skywalker had crossed any youngling he definitely would’ve sent them to the Halls.

Skywalker’s anger fades a bit, replaced by shock and horror, “What?”

“We’re empaths? Strong emotions plus unshielded child equals Halls of Healing. Why were you so angry? Weren’t you seeing your friend?” Said friend _was_ the Chancellor who was also a Sith Lord, but Obi-wan hadn’t wanted to tell Skywalker yet so, Quinlan will respect that.

“Yeah, and he made me realize something that pissed me off.” Skywalker’s anger was slowly returning.

“What did he _make_ you realize?” Quinlan didn’t like Skywalker’s word choice, but he was willing to mock it.

“That everyone treats me like a child.” Skywalker was getting more angry, but he wasn’t projecting it as much. Good.

Quinlan would _like_ to retort ‘Act like a child and you’ll get treated like a child’, but he’s reasonably sure that’d just piss Skywalker off more, so instead, he asks “How have people been treating you like a child?”

“The _stupid_ gold stars Obi-wan and his Medic gave me.” Skywalker gestures to his chest plate which no longer had any gold stars, but the outline of where they were was there. They had been removed recently.

Quinlan was lost. “How- How is that treating you like a child?”

“They’re given to _kids_ when they _behave_.” Skywalker’s anger was getting a tad out of control. But Quinlan was still lost.

“I-okay. Uh, before, you went to see the Chancellor, how did you feel about the stars?” Quinlan knew the most probable answer but he still wanted to hear Skywalker say it.

Quinlan’s question caught Skywalker off guard, his anger faded momentarily, replaced by confusion,“I-I liked them? They were nice. It, I felt happy when I saw them, and thought about them.”

“Why?”

Skywalker pauses before answering, “They were a reward. For.” Skywalker deflates, and looks away from Quinlan.

“For?”

“Talking about my emotions.” Skywalker sounded grumpy, petulant, but he wasn’t angry.

“So, why the sudden change?”

“Chancellor Palpatine told me how the stars are used with school children when they behave. That by using them with me, they were being condescending.” Quinlan thanks the stars Skywalker’s anger doesn’t return.

“They weren’t being condescending Skywalker. Do you know _why_ people use gold stars with children?” Skywalker shakes his head. “It’s _encouragement_. You get happy when you get something. Quake gave you stars when you _calmly_ and _maturely_ talked about your emotions with Obi-wan and how he hurt you because Quake wants to _encourage_ that behaviour. Because that’s _healthy_ and way more productive than yelling at each other in a supply closet. Giving a gold star is the same as Obi-wan praising you when you master a saber move. A gold star just lasts longer, and it’s a reminder. That you behaved in a mature and healthy manner and you should continue to do so.”

“Oh.”

“I find it unnerving that Palpatine would make you change your opinion on the stars so quickly.”

And just like that, Skywalker was angry again. Good job Quinlan. “He was just looking out for me. He’s my friend.”

“I’m Obi-wan’s friend. Do you want to know what I said when Princess Organa gave Obi-wan a gold star?” That got Skywalker’s interest. “Nothing. I asked what it was for, got an answer, and I left it at that. Because, why does it matter if to an outsider it seems childish? Skywalker, neither Obi-wan, nor the Troops have experience with school children and gold stars. They wouldn’t have known that it’d seem condescending to outsiders because to them, it’s _not_. What’s unnerving about Palpatine is that he changed your opinion so quickly. You said so yourself. You _liked_ the stars before you went to see him. And after you see him, you’re so _angry_ with the stars that even Force nulls could feel it. It’s concerning.”

“That’s my emotions, it has nothing to do with Palpatine-”

“But it does.” Quinlan refutes calmly. “Skywalker, if he’s your friend, he shouldn’t want you to get riled up. And he shouldn’t send you off _angry_. If I say something to piss Obi-wan off, I don’t let him go stew, I _talk_ to him. Figure out why he’s angry, if it’s at me or someone else, and help him calm down. Palpatine said something to deliberately rile you up and then sent you on your way.”

“He did _not_. He didn’t want me to be treated like a _child_.”

And Skywalker was getting riled up again, great. God this wasn’t even Quinlan’s responsibility. Whatever, time to buckle in for a long day.

_-Back to our clones-_

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” Obi-wan dismisses, very clearly not concerned about Vos kidnapping Skywalker.

Beast shrugs when the Trooper looks to him, “I am not responsible for anything Vos does right now. Tell a High General.”

“The only High General on Coruscant is Kenobi.” The Trooper points out.

“Well, I’m sure Quinlan has his reasons. While you cannot join the interview, you’re welcome to stay. If that is fine with your commander.” Obi-wan offers. 

The Trooper looks hesitant and then to Beast who shrugs, “Do what you want.” The Trooper nods and sits down next to Obi-wan, pulling off his helmet. Fox opens a new bottle of Tequila as Beast polishes the old one off.

“Well, uh, getting back to our interview, the senate limits the media you’re able to see?” Ryssa asks.

“Yup. We couldn’t even hear about Fox’s daycare unless the Generals told us.” Rex states.

“Or if we stole their pads,” Cody adds.

“Do the Jedi mind if you do that?” Ryssa asks, glancing to Obi-wan. The man shrugs.

“I get mine back most of the time. And it’s not stealing, it’s _borrowing_.”

“That’s just stealing with the intention of returning.” Fox states, “And with Skywalker or Vos it’s just a different name for stealing.” Kenobi doesn’t argue, he actually looks like he agrees. But is too polite to say anything, so he goes back to talking with Beast’s Trooper.

“Do those two steal things often?” Ryssa asks lightly.

Fox seesaws one of his hands, “When they’re on planet. Don’t know what they get up to off planet.”

Ryssa nods, “Back on topic, it’s a little concerning that the media you have access to is restricted, do you know of anything else you’re not allowed to view?”

All the clones shrug, but Cody speaks up, “Never really felt the need to test the limits. I use General Kenobi’s pad most of the time because I typically have it on hand more than my own.”

“Haven’t hit any memorable walls myself.”

“I don’t have restricted access. Would make my job _really_ hard if I did.” Fox shrugs, he can’t protect stupid senators if information is being hidden from him. Fox squeezes the plushie in his hands lightly, he’s never really cared about public opinion on Clones, it’s never really been relevant to his job. Maybe he should start looking into it.

Ryssa hums, “Interesting. Well, do you like the Trooper plushies?”

“They’re adorable.”

“I’m honestly more surprised I haven’t seen these at Base.” Because that is a big shock. The kids there love the Troopers. 

“Can they do custom ones?” Beast asks. The Trooper Plushies they were given all had pristine white armor.

“I didn’t ask, but I can check it out and inform Master Kenobi. I trust he’ll pass along the message?”

“Mmhmm.” Kenobi nods.

Ryssa smiles and addresses the troopers once more, “Are you all alright to broach more serious topics?” The troopers all nod in agreement. “Good, what is your experience with Jedi not seeing you as sentient beings?”

“Not my question.” Fox declares, turning his attention to his brothers, who were all thinking.

Cody answers first, “I don’t have a lot of experience with it, I tend to stay close to General Kenobi and no Jedi would ever _imply_ they thought of us as less than human around him. But sometimes when he’s not around, I’ll have Jedi refuse to accept my authority, or strictly call me by my number. It’s not as bad as it could be.”

“Not as bad as it could be just means it could be better.” Beast states, then wrinkles his nose, “Oh kark, I’m sounding like your girlfriend.” Bly punches Beast in the shoulder but doesn’t refute. “I don’t really interact with Jedi other than Vos and Secura. I have a couple times but, honestly if they didn’t think of me as human it didn’t register. Mostly because we’re fighting for our lives and I don’t have time for debates when I’m trying to not to let stupid Jedi die.” Beast shrugs.

“Aayla deals with some. They’re not nice.” Bly looked incredibly uncomfortable, like he didn’t want to talk about this.

Rex comes to his rescue, “Not nice is a good term. Karking Assholes is a better one.” Cody and Beast look to Obi-wan who did not react at the term at all. “Most Jedi don’t say anything in front of my General either, some do. It’s typically insults. Or just making high casualty plans. Like General Krell, one of the highest success rates in the GAR, also the highest mortality rate for his troops.”

“If the Jedi don’t think of us as anything more than flesh-droids, there’s no need for smart plans that lower the death toll. They can just make more, our pain and suffering don’t matter.” Fox finishes up, since everyone else was varying from uncomfortable to _tired_. Being reminded people don’t think of them as sentient beings _hurts_.

“I’m sorry. But I have some more serious questions, we can get back to the light stuff in a bit.” Ryssa says, looking like she really regrets asking the question and the ones she’s going to, before she asks, “How do you feel about the threat of decommissioning?”

“Shitty.” Fox deadpans.

Beast shrugs, “It’s just another way for us to die. We die fighting for the Republic or we die trying to live a peaceful life. Death is all but assured for us, so why bother caring about the distinctions. Like General Kenobi said, we’re dying when the wars over anyways.” 

No one else says anything, none of them really have anything to say. Death is an old friend. What did the way it happened matter? “I’m sorry.” Ryssa repeats before asking, “How do you feel about the war?”

Now that. That is a tough question. The troopers remain silent for a while before Rex speaks up, “Most of my troopers, we, we have mixed feelings about the war. We, all of us were raised, trained and bred for the war. Our life's purpose is to be soldiers, to fight for the Republic, it’s all we’ve ever known. Most Natborns wished it never happened, but, without it, we wouldn’t exist.”

“It’s hard to hate what you’re made for, but it’s impossible to like it.” Beast adds.

“It’d be nice for it to end soon. At least, at least our Jedi would stop dying.” Cody states. But that wasn’t even true. The Jedi will keep dying even after the war is done, because _no one cares_.

“Thank you.” Ryssa says when it’s clear they’re done, then clears her throat, “As with the interview I did with Master Kenobi, Master Vos, and Master Eerin, I asked some of our viewers to send in some questions. I think it’d be a good time to get into those, yes?” The troopers nodded, Fox hoped the questions would be light. “Some of them are for specific troopers so, Commander Cody, what’s your favourite and least favourite part about working with Jedi?”

“Well. My least favourite part is my General giving me grey hairs. But, I like the yeeting.”

“The… yeeting?” Ryssa repeats confused.

Rex groans while Cody grins, “When they throw us with the Force. It is _awesome_.”

“It’s _horrible!_ ” Rex protests. “Skywalker and Tano do it without a care!”

“It’s the _best_. It’s like flying with a jetpack.”

“But you’re not in control!”

“Yeah, and I have complete faith in General Kenobi.” Rex groans.

“I hate it. General Skywalker loves it.” Everyone chuckles at Rex’s plight. 

“What do you do to relax?”

“Drink.” Beast states, holding up one of Fox’s tequila bottles.

“Train.” Rex adds with a shrug, Cody nods in agreement.

“Nap.” Fox declares, he’d like one very much right now.

“Spend time with my girlfriend.”

“What would you do if you could have a life after the war?” No one has an answer, having never really thought about being anything other than a soldier. No one except,

“Run my daycare.” Fox states with a shrug.

“You don’t like kids.”

“No, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave them. They deserve a safe place, and I’ll be damned if anything but death makes me take that from them.” Fox declares, a scowl on his face. 

Beast answers for himself and Bly, “We don’t think about that shit. We’re being decommissioned after the war, why dream of the impossible?”

“I focus more on surviving the than the war.” Rex admits with a shrug.

“I’m sorry.” Ryssa did sound genuinely sorry with that. “Um, Do your armor colors mean anything?”

“Uh, they used to, I think.” Cody looks to his brothers who all shrug, maybe at the very beginning? “We just use them now to distinguish battlements. It’s easier to collect and account for the dead vod if you know where they belonged previously.” Cody shrugs.

“How, how do you feel, when you lose a, a vod?” Ryssa asks.

No one talks for a long minute until Beast decides to answer, “Like shit.”

That, at least, springs Cody into speaking. “We are created to fight this war, and to die it in. Our brothers die, often. And they all deserve to be mourned.” Cody’s speech was stilted, like he was forcing the words out.

“Some deaths hit harder.” Rex adds. “As Commanding Officers, we should be objective, we should mourn all our men equally, but some deaths hit harder than others. Particularly if they’re someone we’ve interacted with a lot. It, it feels _wrong_ to mourn them more than the others that died. No life was worth more, they all deserved to be mourned, but,” Fox is very deliberately not looking at Rex, because it honestly sounds like he’s about to cry and Fox is a sympathetic crier. He refuses to cry on camera.

“We’re closer to them. They’re all our vod but they were our friends. Or our headaches. It hurts when they die, and then it hurts more because you feel like you shouldn’t be so affected.” Beast explains, sounding not at all like he was about to start crying, thank _fuck_. “So, in summary, like shit.” Beast reiterates.

“I’m, I’m so sorry. I-uh, um, do you want to stop?” Ryssa sounded so worried and concerned, so Fox chances a glance at his brothers. Beast was looking depressed and spaced, Cody was covering his face, and Rex and Bly genuinely look like they’re about to start crying. 

Fox never really felt like he had an easier job than his brothers, it’s harder in some aspects, but the mass death of those under his command was rarely something Fox had to deal with. Maybe once since the war started, if that. He can’t imagine dealing with it monthly. 

And now Fox wants to start crying. He looks away from the camera, and covers the half of his face still in the camera’s view with his hand.

“Yes, I think it’d be best to finish the interview. Perhaps it can be continued at a later date.” Obi-wan states, and Fox feels something draped over him, a small glance to his shoulder reveals it to be a Jedi robe. “Ryssa, Rayf, Zaimir, Kalla, I’ll lead you out.”

“Thank you Master Kenobi.”

A few minutes later, Fox hears the door open and close, and he finally moves to look at his brothers, who were all coated with Jedi robes. Did Obi-wan just have a store of them?

“Well, that is the most awkward end to anything ever.” Beast comments, but he’s pulling the robe closer around him. Fox is pretty sure Cody is actually crying now, but he’s managed to cocoon himself in the robe so Fox couldn’t be sure.

“At least we might be seen as human.” Rex tries.

“Or as giant fucking crybabies.” Fox refutes.

“If you’re going to be a dick you can go back to the kids you hate.” Bly grumbles.

“I don’t hate them. I don’t like kids, but those are _my_ kids.” Fox nearly growls, then after taking a breath, “How long do you think they’ll let us stay here?”

“As long as we need, probably.” Bly says.

“Is anyone else kind of curious about why Vos would’ve kidnapped Skywalker?” Beast asks.

“Maybe he wanted to lecture him on Obi-wan’s lovelife not being his business.” Rex remarks.

“Who knows. Maybe Palpatine poisoned his mind.” Fox mutters. And regrets it instantly.

“...Why would Palpatine poison his mind?” Rex asks. “I’m not disagreeing, it actually makes sense, but, why?”

Fox sighs, but, whatever, “Palpatine is the sith lord. Like, Dooku’s master.”

“...What.”

“The fuck!?”

“That… makes so much sense.”

—-

Obi-wan waves goodbye to the interview crew and dismisses Quinlan trooper back to his duties. Then, he’s off to find Quinlan. And find out why he kidnapped his former padawan.

“Obi-wan!” Obi-wan stops when he hears Ahsoka, waiting for her to reach him. “Have you seen Skyguy? We were suppose to upgrade the ship today but I can’t find him.”

“I was just going to find him. I believe he’s with Quinlan.”

“Master Vos?” Ahsoka makes a face, “Why?”

“That is what we’re going to find out.” Obi-wan starts leading them to Quinlan’s rooms. Presumably, that’s where Quinlan and Anakin would be.

Obi-wan is thankful Quinlan never bothers to change his door combo as the door slides open and he and Ahsoka walk in.

And see Anakin crying into Quinlan’s chest as Quinlan pats his back, looking pretty done.

“I’m- going to fix up the ship on my own.” Ahsoka excuses herself quietly and hightails it out of the room. Obi-wan rolls his eyes and walks over to the couch, sitting down on the otherside of Anakin.

“What happened?” Obi-wan asks.

“Palpatine’s evil!” Anakin sobs and latches onto Obi-wan so he’s now crying into Obi-wan’s tabard.

“...Okay?” Obi-wan looked to Quinlan suspiciously, they agreed not to tell Anakin. He might not believe them and react badly. But Quinlan shakes his head and holds his hands up in surrender. Evidently, Anakin does not know Palpatine’s a sith lord. So, “Why do you say that?”

“He wants to kill the clones. He’s making me angry on purpose. He’s _lying_ and it makes sense. But he’s a ball of dicks!”

Obi-wan… Obi-wan isn’t entirely sure what to do with that. “What did you and Quinlan talk about?”

“Emotions. Palpatine is a bad friend and bad Chancellor and a bad person.” Anakin sobs.

“...Okay.” Yeah, Obi-wan is lost. “Anakin, why don’t you take a nap?”

Anakin sniffles and pulls himself up, he looks like he’s about to argue, but then actually thinks and nods. “I am tired.”

“Yeah, I’d imagine so, these revelations can be draining.” Obi-wan does feel a little bad at putting the sleep suggestion into Anakin’s head. He probably would’ve fallen asleep on his own, but Obi-wan doesn’t want to wait for that. Obi-wan lays a sleeping Anakin down on Quinlan’s couch before moving into the kitchen with Quinlan.

“He came back from the Chancellor angry. Saying the gold stars were condescending because they’re used on school children. And, I made him talk it out. And then we kept talking. And he came to those realizations on his own. And then he started crying. Aayla doesn’t cry!” Quinlan hisses, clearly underprepared.

“...Because she’s a Twi’lek. Crying is good. It’s good for Anakin to get it out.”

“Yeah, I guess. How was the interview?”

“It went… okay. I think Cody, Rex, Fox, Beast and Bly are all crying though.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“So now’s not a good time to talk to Bly.”

“No.” Obi-wan shakes his head, “Why do you want to talk to him anyways?”

“I wanna know how he feels with his relationship with Aayla. Also how he started it.”

“Because of your massive crush on Cody?” Obi-wan asks with a smirk, chuckling at Quinlan’s expression of shock, “Your commander ratted you out. In the middle of the interview.”

Quinlan winces, and sighs. “How did Cody react?”

“Confusion. Mostly. And you need to get better at flirting with him.”

“...Yeah Beast said the same thing.” Quinlan admits, then hesitantly asks, “How do you feel?”

“About what?” He’s being a tease, but Quinlan deserves it. For… their entire childhood. From Quinlan’s expression, he fully knows Obi-wan is being intentionally dense.

“About,” Quinlan glances over at his couch, most likely checking to see if Anakin had awoken, before turning back and specifying, “About dating me, and Cody.”

“You’ve never wanted to date before.” Quinlan had been the one to draw the line at friends with benefits.

“Qui Gon didn’t like me. And after his death it didn’t really feel right to ask you out. And then _that one_ ,” Quinlan points to his couch, “grew a dislike for me.”

Obi-wan hums, “He still doesn’t like you. He left Rex behind to make sure you didn’t defile me, or something.”

Quinlan raises his eyebrows in a ‘see’ expression. “I want to date you. And Cody. But I’m kind of scared of asking Cody because I don’t want to pressure him.”

“So you want his direct superior to ask him?” Obi-wan wasn’t against being a relationship with Cody. He would gladly go into one. But Cody is still his subordinate, there are issues that’d have to be addressed. Not to mention the Clones going to Stewjon. “Besides, what about when they relocate? Do you want to move with us?”

Quinlan sighs, “He talks back to you though. He’s comfortable with you. And, that’s not for a while. We can deal with that when it comes to it. We might not even survive that far.”

Obi-wan nods, Quinlan, regrettably, has a point. With how the senate is working them in particular… they might not survive long enough to move all the clones to Stewjon. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“You’re the best.” Quinlan enunciates his point with a kiss.

—-

Several days later, they were all preparing to leave. Cody had agreed to dating them. After turning bright red and stuttering for a full minute and needing help to calm down because he _thought Beast was joking_. After that, Obi-wan had sent out a missive informing the council of his relationship with both Cody and Quinlan. They had yet to all respond. But Yoda’s and Adi’s were only two words. **Fucking Finally**.

Obi-wan chooses not to think on that.

Anakin has been… better. Lighter. He’s stopped seeing the Chancellor altogether and already Obi-wan can see a difference in him. It’s… interesting. And disturbing. And makes Obi-wan regret not stepping in sooner-

Obi-wan’s trail of thought is disrupted by Quinlan kissing him. “Stop thinking so much. He only came to those conclusions because of the war.”

“Was I thinking that loudly?” 

“Always.” Obi-wan rolls his eyes at Quinlan, but can’t help the smile that comes to his lips. 

When Anakin approaches them, he doesn’t seem particularly happy, but it’s hidden quite well. “Did you hear about Stewjon’s senator?”

“No?” Obi-wan looked to Quinlan who shrugs, before returning his attention back to Anakin.

“The King of Stewjon pulled him and is having him executed for treason. _Apparently_ , he was going against the Stewjoni people’s wishes and that’s an executable offence. Apparently.”

Wow. “There’s nothing specific on how he was disobeying Stewjon?”

Anakin shakes his head, “Nothing Padme could find.”

Obi-wan raises an eyebrow, “And what were you doing talking to Senator Amidala?”

Anakin rolls his eyes, “Quinlan told me you know about my marriage. And, then gave me a lecture on actually reading our rules.”

Obi-wan chuckles, “Well, marriage to a senator isn’t the best thing. But it’s hardly the worse. I’m surprise it took you so long though, Master Mundi has six wives.”

“ _What_?!”

Oh, more new information for Anakin. “Yes. Anyways, back to Stewjon?”

Anakin takes a second to orient himself back into the previous conversation. “Right, uh, they sent one of their princes to Coruscant to represent Stewjon until a new Senator can be elected. Some people are calling it un-democratic. Prince Audric is quick to remind them that Stewjon is a Monarchy. Which is not making him popular.”

Obi-wan snorts, “I doubt that he cares. Stewjon is rather isolationist, they don’t really care about other people’s opinion of them.”

Anakin sighs, “I guess. Padme was complaining about it though. He’s pulled Stewjon’s backing from over a thousand potential bills.”

Obi-wan’s eyebrows jump, “He seems to be working quickly then.”

Anakin shrugs, “He has help. He brought a couple of servants with him.”

“Any news about the interview?” Quinlan asks. Obi-wan had nearly forgotten, he tends to ignore the interview news due to the war, but surely Padme would know-

Anakin sighs, “Padme says the committee deemed it too controversial to air.”

“Ah. So wait for it to leak?”

“The company was supposed to hand over all copies.” Obi-wan hums in agreement. Perhaps they didn’t. Perhaps they handed over all the ones in their possession.

“We should head out.” Obi-wan states, looking to Quinlan. Anakin nods and starts walking away towards his transport. “Where are you going?” Obi-wan calls, making Anakin stop and turn around.

“To the _Resolute_?”

Obi-wan shakes his head, “No you’re not, you’re on archive duty.” Anakin takes a few large steps back towards Obi-wan, clearly upset, “I’ve already talked to Madam Nu, she’s expecting you.”

“Why?!”

“Because you left Rex at your stopover to get here. Pointlessly. Now get. You’re in the archive until your hair matches Master Windu’s.”

“Master Windu doesn’t have any hair.” Anakin points out.

“Exactly.” Obi-wan smiles at Anakin’s affronted expression. “Have a good break Anakin.” Obi-wan waves goodbye as he heads to the transport to get to the _Negotiator_. Quinlan heads to his own transport. Regrettably, they weren’t on the same mission.

—-

“Is there a reason I’m with you?” Ahsoka asks when Obi-wan enters the bridge. 

“Yes, Anakin is on an extended vacation, so the 501st is stationed on Coruscant. I believe they’ve been assigned to help the Coruscant Guard.” Obi-wan explains. “Oh, and would you mind uploading this?” Obi-wan hands over a thin drive. 

Ahsoka looks at it for a moment before realization crosses her face and she smiles up at Obi-wan, “Is this what I think it is?”

“It is merely something I believe people should see. And you are far better with the holonet than I.” Ahsoka is better at making herself untraceable on the holonet. Obi-wan makes shooing motions, “We’ll be entering Hyperspace in fifteen minutes, hurry along.” Ahsoka giggles and runs off.

“...Do I want to know?” Cody asks, having passed Ahsoka when coming onto the bridge.

“Just, a little payback for all the videos darling.”

“...So no.”

**Author's Note:**

> The interview ended there because _I_ got too sad to continue it. 
> 
> Also Cody is remembering Wish when they talk about Vod dying.
> 
> Obi-wan put his own robe around Cody, and draped spare robes over everyone else to give them some privacy. And in case it wasn’t clear, Obi-wan took the non-interviewed trooper with him to escort Ryssa and them out.
> 
> Things are happening!!!
> 
> Comments are always loved and appreciated! And if you want you can talk to me on [ Tumblr](https://ahumanname.tumblr.com/) My ask box is only ever closed by accident.


End file.
